And now we present Madea's Code of Ethics, written and read by the Captain of the Syracuse Elite GUARDIANS: Madea, Mable Simmons.
About giving people the middle finger
Madea: Listen here, if you decide to flip a little bird towards moi, somebody gonna be turning you over in your grave. I'm'a tell you that now. One time a wolf bastard somehow decided to flip that bird towards me, I choked him out and shouted "Yah, Trick Yah!"
About abusing the "Word of Subjugation"
Madea: You know somethin' about Kagome that work on my nerves? Every time she get mad at Inuyasha she wants to shout "sit" over, over, and over again. I told her if I catch her shouting sit at him one more time, I would pimp slap her every time she says it.
About groping women and "Moggling"
Madea: There's always a little pervert lingering inside of all of us, but one of my subordinates has it worse than everyone else up in the Syracuse Elite. Every time this nasty monk tries to help out a young lady, he wants to fell all up in they butts, grope their breasts and asks if they would like to bear his child and all that. A more disturbing form of this is when he peeps on these women takin' a bath in the hot springs and changin' in the locker rooms. I told him right then if I catch him pullin' any more of these stunts I would punch him in the family jewels so hard, his soldiers won't be able to march.
About table etiquette and attitude
Madea: The only thing worse than havin' roaches in my house is a silver-haired, dog-eared punk givin' everybody attitude, eatin' food that he ain't never known with his hands and placin' the food so close to his mouth he could chew on it like it's a bone. First of all, I ain't gonna stand nobody givin' me no attitude. That means it's time for that half-demon jackass to learn that he now lives in a world where people say "Yes, ma'am," "No, ma'am.," "Yes, sir," "No, sir," or else he gonna get his teeth knocked out of his mouth. Second of all, if I catch that boy eatin' his meals like he ain't got no table manners one more time I'm'a knock the hell outta that pretty boy dummy.
Madea: Now, one of the things that really work on my nerves is a prankster settin' up all kinds of traps all over my house just fo' a good laugh. In my perspective pullin' pranks and catchin' people in booby traps is a irritation and it drives me toward the wall every time somebody gets caught. If I catch the jackass responsible for settin' up these pranks, I'm'a beat they ass. I'm gonna beat they ass until they have nothin' but legs runnin down their backs. Again, they just gonna have legs, no mo' tails, no mo' ass 'cause I'm gonna beat it. Do you understand me? If you say no, then it's a dead giveaway, you've probably got a prank or a booby trap setup to catch your friends and a stranger right now. Otherwise, I think I've got my point across to yo' minds. And tell that bushy tailed fox boy that if I catch him crakin' joke on anybody I'm'a beat the hell out of him.
More Ethics to come...