Kevin's Bio

Welcome to another episode of "The Klumps". With special guest and topic: Kevin Vermillion.

Anna Pearl: *happily laughs while walking into the dining room with a bowl of mash potatoes* Oh this so fabulous. Ain't nothing like having friends over to enjoy a good meal.
*Anna Pearl places the bowl of mash potatoes on the table*
Ida Mae: Oh, I am hungry.
Cletus: So Kevin where you from?
Kevin: You got me... I don't remember where I was born.
Ernie Sr.: You wait until the last minute to find out that you were you were born somewhere else or you're somebody's illegitimate child, you gonna be mad at yourself.
Kevin: Don't worry, I can handle the pressure of discovering my own...
*Ernie Jr. burps*
Anna Pearl: Aw, baby don't belch around our guest, he don't wanna hear all that nastiness.
Kevin: That's alright Mrs. Klump. He obviously has a little gas and needs a way to release it. And I don't mean through his rear end.
Ida Mae: Thank the lord.
Cletus: You, shut up. Have you ever heard from the gossip mill lately?
Anna Pearl: What gossip mill, Cletus?
Cletus: I heard somebody talkin' about it a while back. They mentioned a illegitimate child being compared to the leader of a trio of fanatic brats. That boy's acted crazy. So crazy that I'm'a call him Momma Dicky. *laughs*
Anna Pearl: Cletus, you really shouldn't judge people by how they look or behave, because they only do that to deceive people. All they need is a big ol' hug.
Ida Mae: Hold on, let me tell you somethin' about those boys. They may be diabolical outside, but inside they got way more goin' on than an common gentleman. You know, there's something about them that would...
Cletus: I don't wanna hear that kind of shit while I'm eatin'.
Ida Mae: Cletus, I done told you about interruptin' me while I'm talkin'. You blurt out on me again I'm a rip yo' tongue out through the seam just like that Mary Shaw lady.
Cletus: Can it woman, I'm talkin' about this skanky boy. Both he and that Kadaj sharin' the same actors, but they ain't runnin' around together wreakin' chaos on Earth. I don't care if they behave differently, they're still a pair of Momma Dickies.
Anna Pearl: *smashes her elbow on the table* Cletus! *smacking Cletus's shoulder* Don't you dare talk about our guest like that.
Kevin: You know what, the way you compared me to that crazed brat really bothers the hell out of me. First of all, I just wanted to find out who my birth parents were. I never wanted to hurt anyone, unlike Kadaj. He wanted to reunite his mother in an attempt to destroy the Planet. So don't you shed a negative light on me just because we have the same voice actors.
Ernie Sr.: You know another difference between you and that clown?
Kevin: What?
Ernie Sr.: He don't workout long enough. He need exercise. Look at you, *flexes muscles* you're startin' to grow muscle.
Kevin: *flexes a muscle* Really?
Anna Pearl: Oh...
Ernie Sr.: He average, we're muscle. He just gotta keep on workin' out!
Anna Pearl: Oh, we got ourselves a pretty Hercules. Show me those muscles again.
*Kevin flexes both muscles*
Anna Pearl: Oh, *starts clapping in rhythm* Hercules, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules.
Ernie Sr.: Every time you workout, your muscles begin to weaken for a moment. They'll enlarge themselves overtime.
*Anna Pearl joyfully laughs*
Kevin: *blushes* Hahahaha... Thanks Ernie.
Anna Pearl: Oh, he's so strong.
Cletus: Listen, y'all missin' my whole point. It really don't matter who been workin' out the most, or how their intentions for everybody else.
Anna Pearl: Well that's intuition.
Cletus: Well, intuition my ass. Listen, I don't think the boy's parents and siblings even want him as an illegitimate child. Do you know how much more hell in high water they'd have to go through?
Ida Mae: Oh, you ignorant bastard.
Cletus: Instead of havin' him run around these streets, he needs to stay with his adoptive family.
Anna Pearl: I'm not turnin' him in to the Vermillions!
*Anna and Cletus begins to argue in the dinner table about Kevin.*
Kevin: They're starting to argue about me are they?
Anna: He ain't going back to Noel's parents. That boy's not going back...
Cletus: You wanna test me? *farts*
Kevin: Ugh. *covers his nose and mouth*
*Ernie Jr. starts laughing.*
Anna Pearl: Cletus! I can't believe we were just getting to know our lovely guest, and you wanna end the conversation by breaking gas. Don't break gas, and drive out our guest.
Kevin: I have agree your wife, that was definitely uncalled for.
Cletus: Oh yeah, how about a Second Impact. *farts*
Kevin: Oh my god.
Ida Mae: Cletus, you make one more guest leave by poppin' off gas, you gonna have your asshole sown shut by the time this show is over.
Anna Pearl: Don't... that boy don't want a Third Strike of Flatulence, Cletus Klump!
*Cletus farts.*
Kevin: I'm outta here. Good night, Mrs. Klump.
*Kevin gets up from the dinner table.*
Anna Pearl: You know what you are such a disgrace.
Cletus: I stop holdin' my gas the moment Kevin decided to hold his own against what ever I wanted to say about him. You knew that.
Anna Pearl: Cletus, you done ruined the dinner for that boy!
*Kevin exits the house through the front door.*

Preview pic is based on and modified from a commission by ~Ceksie

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